Akaiito web novel

It has been almost eleven years since I decided to let my hair grow long.
The reason I let my hair grow long was not something big. It's just that my mom told me, "Kei-san would look good with long hair."
My mother's hair was rather long so I thought I could have long hair to match hers. Before she told me, I didn't realize it, but why was my hair this short...

I was a mama's girl and I often copied her, so why was my hair this short? It was a mystery. If I had a clue in my head, I would've searched for the answer myself, but the me at that time didn't know much about myself so I had no choice but to ask my mother.

"Kei... you..."

And the answer she gave was the fire that stole everything from us.

About ten years ago, in a cloud of smoke, I lost both my father and my memory. In that disaster, my hair was burned short, is what I heard.

But that was a deception.

The memory that I thought I'd lost was only covered up and hidden away. After a long time, the lie dried up and was finally broken last summer...
I recovered my memory. I remembered that owner of the pale hand that gently combed through my hair.

That pale hand greatly resembled my mom's and brushed my wet hair after I finished bathing.
Starting a few centimeters from the ends of my hair, the distance that the brush slided over would gradually increase until it even reached the roots of my hair.

For ten and one years, I'd been letting my hair grow, so it was long.
It wasn't as long as Rapunzel's hair, which she had been letting grow from age twelve to twenty when she was locked up away in a tower, until her hair finally reached from the top of the tower to the ground. However, if I unbound my hair, it would reach my knees. Though my hair was long, it wasn't that painful and it was soft. It was also a merit that few people so I could be proud of it.
During these ten and one years, my mother had helped affectionately take care of my hair.

If I were by myself, I wouldn't be able to reach back and property maintain my hair...but that wasn't the only reason...so after my mother died, I'd thought about cutting it into a manageable length countless, countless times.

But now, there were moments when a person I cherished would brush my hair. I narrowed my eyes like a cat sunning outside. The sensation of a slight tugging on my scalp traveled through me.
"Kei-chan, your hair has become rather long. When you were small, your hair was short and easy to take care of..."

"Would it be better if my hair were short, like in the past?"

When she said that, I felt uneasy and I turned to look around, but she held my head in place with gentle hands.

"Hora...it'll be bad if it gets tangled, so please sit still

"Un..."

"Short hair is also cute, but I think long hair suits you better. It was a long time ago, but I thought it was regrettable when you cut your hair.

Whether it was because she was satisfied that I was sitting still or not, Yumei onee-chan returned to gently brushing my hair.

"Nee...Kei-chan...do you remember when your hair became short?"

"Ehto...I'm not sure whether to say I remember, or if I was made to recall that time..."

"Fufu...so Kei-chan DOES remember that time."

"Well...I guess I do..."

The reason my hair became short is because I cut it myself. Yumei onee-chan knew me when my hair was rather short. It happened long before the false fire accident that my mother told me about. Because when Hakuka-chan and I were reflected in the mirror that sealed Nozomi-chan and company, we as twins, looked really like the other. Then, there was only one question remaining.
If it wasn't because of that incident, why did my mother tell me that lie?
In the details of the lie, was there a clue as to why it was necessary?

The reason I cut my hair was because my older twin brother said that. And while blushing, I said that too.

In my hand were scissors that didn't suit my small, chubby hand. It was a rustic, old sewing instrument of Yumei onne-chan's. Those sewing scissors were also a memento of my grandmother's.
I was really angry, but it wasn't like I was going to go waving them around like an act in a battle scene of a play. I was taught that I was not to point sharp objects at people. My mother was strict about that.
The scissors were pointed at me. The details were that the scissors were going to cut my hair which I had grabbed by the roots.

The real beginning of the story is because of a silly thing Hakuka-chan said.

"When I grow up, I'm going to make Yuu-nee my bride."

For the boys going to the kindergarten, it was like a set phrase they would say to the kind, pretty day-care worker, so it really was just a silly phrase. For Hakuka-chan and me, we admired our older cousin by 10 years as more than a day-care worker and really loved her, so it wasn't weird at all for Hakuka-chan to say that.
Hearing him say that, I felt a weird feeling so I also said it.

"Me too. I also want to make Yumei onee-chan my bride..."

Whether it was because Hakuka-chan was timid, or because he was indulgent of his little sister's whims, he mostly just let me get away with one-upping him.
However, only this time, did he tease me a little and shook his head to the side.

"You can't do that because you have long hair. Because you're a girl, you can't have a bride."

I had a simple thought that having long hair meant you were a girl. I was just a kid and other kids would also have such simplistic thoughts.

"Uuuu...then I'll cut my hair..."

Whether it was because Hakuka-chan opposed it, or because he was in shock, or maybe a mixture of both, or maybe it was some other reason...
Now, I can't even distinguish it anymore but, with a red face, I rushed out of the children's room.

"I'm going to make my hair as short as Hakuka-chan's!"

With that heated spirit, I went to onee-chan's room and took out a pair of large scissors from her box for sewing equipment...
They weren't scissors for cutting hair, but I took the sewing scissors, reached behind my back and with a snip, cut my hair.

"Ah..."

The fine, soft hair that was particular to children fell to the tatami, making a sound. At the same time, a sigh escaped. though I didn't know whether it was me, or Hakuka-chan.
I felt uncomfortable with the wind brushing across my bare neck. I reached back with my hand but felt nothing but air. I felt uneasy that my palm couldn't grasp anything. That which should have been there wasn't there. It felt a little similar to the feeling I had when Emiko obaa-chan died.

"Kei-chan, you really cut it."

His quiet voice brought me back from my mind, which was turning in circles.
My cheeks and the area around my mouth stiffened. With a sniff, tears started flowing. I was hit with a sense of loss and my breathing became labored.

"Uuu.....uu.....uwahhh"

When I tried to touch my hair, I realized that I'd lost an important thing. I realized for the first time it was something I couldn't take back. It was true that the reason my hair was long was because I was a girl and Hakuka-chan was a boy, but...

"Kei-chan. Kei-chan. I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

Hakuka-chan kept apologizing to me, who was crying. Underneath my socks, I could feel the sound of someone coming closer and I swallowed my breath.

"Hey! I came home and said 'Tadaima' but I didn't get any response. Are you two up to no good in onee-chan's room again?"

Yumei onee-chan was wearing her school uniform and had just come home. She was holding a heavy-looking bookbag in one hand as she walked in the room.

"I was planning on cleaning up, and the sewing equipment is dangerous, so you shouldn't decide on your own to go in my room..."

She was going to continue, but she stopped halfway.

Before, we'd gone in her room and ended up tearing an important book. After that we stood there crying and waiting for onee-chan to come home. So she thought this time it was something of the same level and she wasn't worried when she came into the room.

"K...Kei-chan!? You're Kei-chan, right!? What happened to your hair!? Why are you holding a pair of scissors!?"

Yumei onee-chan changed her expression and took the sewing scissors from me and stuffed them in her book bag and then enveloped me in a hug.

"Kei-chan, what happened? Hakuka-chan, do you know?"

Hakuka-chan said it with difficulty, but he explained all the details. Though he was normally dragged around by me, he really was a great older brother.

"Geez, what have you done..."

Hearing the situation, Yumei onee-chan said that in a shocked voice. Right now, it was a disheartened tone, but there was also happiness mixed in.

"I'll ask Mayumi-san to cut your hair nicely. We can't leave it like this, since your cuteness is spoiled."

While my hair was in a state that couldn't be seen by others, her slim, graceful fingers slid through my hair.
Ahhh.....I loved this feeling...

.....

"....i-chan....."

When I was small, the number one reason I grew my hair long was because I loved it when okaa-san or Yumei onee-chan played with my hair. If my hair was long, that time would also increase.

"Kei-chan...did you fall asleep?"

"Eh!?"

At Yumei onee-chan's move, I jerked my head around...
That sharp movement entangled my hair in the brush, and it hurt.

"Uuu...that hurt..."

"Kei-chan...that's why I told you to stay still..."

"I'm sorry..."

I'd mostly buried the tomboyish disposition I had as a kid, but I was still as impulsive as ever. Uuu...that wasn't good. I should be thorougly prepared and not trip on the branch in front or me and live...
I did a bit of self introspection. Before my mind starting going in circles, I decided to try my best again. Okay.

"Ano...onee-chan, I finally understand."

"About what?"

"The reason my mom lied and said my hair became short because of the fire."

I said it with pride and for a moment, onee-chan stopped brushing my hair. Then, as if nothing happened, she started brushing again.

"I see. I wonder why that was."

It didn't seem she wondered at all.

"Uuu...with that forced reaction...onee-chan already knows the reason, right?"

"Because it's something Kei-chan thought of."

That was true.
Because Hakuka-chan and Yumei onee-chan were in the anecdote where I cut my hair.
...After THAT incident, I couldn't even say their names and it was like they were never there from the beginning, but...my motivation was here right now.
It was the same reason Yumei onee-chan (in kanji) appeared as Yumei-san (in katakana) on that first night and told me to forget everything as a dream. It was the reason my mother lied. It was so my heart wouldn't break and I wouldn't remember. My mother acted careless, but was thoroughly prepared.

"By the way, Yumei onee-chan..."

"What is it, Kei-chan?"

"When I cut my hair, you said it was regrettable, but you also looked sort of happy?"

"Ara...that's because..."

She patted me on the head to indicate she was finished, and smiled.

"Kei-chan said she wanted to make me her bride."